Going on hiatus
last modified: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 (4:38:59 AM)
I have two major reasons to take a break from this cel collecting thing. Number one is after buying four wishlist cels in less than a month, my account needs to be recharged in the worst kind of way. This reason is practical and everyone can understand why. I've read many a collector do this.
My second reason is I don't know if my personality is proper for this kind of thing. I can't converse well with the cel community. My main personality flaws hinder me in many ways:
-I'm blunt. Very blunt. Painfully honest. I can't keep my mouth shut; I speak my mind. I also harbor no secrets. I'll freely tell anyone what I paid for a cel, where I got it, etc. I also get excited when bidding and have no qualms telling people where and what I'm bidding for and how much. It's the way I am, and as stupid as it is, it's something that I have trouble harnessing.
-I hate offending people. I am extremely empathetic.. though usually too late. In fact my worst fear is having someone hate me or dislike me. I am very insecure and nervous, I lose sleep over people online getting mad at me, so you can imagine what I'm like in real life. Couple this with my big mouth and you can see the recipie for disaster.
As many know the cel community is tight-knit.. everyone knows everyone else and have each other's backs. As a newcomer and with such a conflicting personality trait I fear I do not fit in very well. I blurt out my feelings to anyone and everyone. I am not subtle, and I have fought this for almost 22 years. I don't know why I was given two complete polar opposites (big mouth and a big heart) but I guess it keeps me from being a total jerk - I hurt people's feelings and then I hurt badly from their anger.
I know I will be mulling this whole experience over and over in my mind for days now. :|
I'll be around, you know how to contact me folks. But don't expect to see me posting much (just to update my gallery as the last cels come in) and definately don't expect to see me in a chat.
Thank you all for being supportive. Hopefully when I come back I'll be a better person.