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itsablog
single question personality test last modified: Sunday, January 07, 2007 (3:37:20 AM) As you walk out of a mostly empty karaoke club at the end of the night, you see a young man and woman arguing loudly in a dark adjacent alley. The street is empty and there is no other open business for a mile in every direction. The man's body language is threatening and the woman is crying and seems to want to exit the situation. It appears to be a personal argument. You are with many friends and there is minimal threat of personal injury if you intervene.
Do you intervene in this argument? How?
Yep. I''d go up to him and tell him to settle down. There are certain places to argue and public is not one of them, and a man should never make a women cry!
I''m not a guy but on one occasion this has happened to me. The guy could go up and intervene saying something only to the girl asking if he can help. If the girl refuses then it''s most probably a couple''s argument that the girl is not willing to leave or if it''s not (aka something more fishy) then the girl has the option of leaving.
Friends around me or no, I calmly intervene by asking the woman if there is anything she needs.
I am not a guy but if I were I would hope I would do as blueheaven stated. But in all honesty I cannot say what I would do until the situation actually came up. Its easy to say you would do the right thing but one never knows till it has happened.
For the record, I walked past them thinking they were just talking but then realized as I kept walking that they were actually quite angry with each other. I had it in my head I was going back and ask the girl if she wanted to make a phone call, but as I passed my friends'' cars and asked them if we should do something, one joked, "Yeah. You should hit the girl," and laughed it off. Another asked, "Did he hit her?" No, it didn''t look like he had. So they all shrugged, turned around, and got into their cars. It certainly didn''t look like she was being kept in that spot against her will. It caught me off guard and I thought for some reason I was wrong for wanting to get involved. I reluctantly drove off, but it bothered me so I circled back around, but by then they weren''t standing in that spot. I can only hope she went to somewhere with more people. In any case, I was frustrated for the rest of the night (see blog post timestamp) that a) this guy was acting *extremely* insulting and threatening to this petite girl and trying to humiliate her in public and b) for the first time since maybe elementary school, I let classic mob mentality (mob apathy, if you will) affect my judgement.
i would definitely try to intervene here....even go as far as to call police.
even though i am a hot chick^^.
No. I would mind my own business (MYOB). As crass as this sounds, generally no one appreciates strangers butting into their private affairs. As third party observers you do not know -anything- about the situation except what you''ve witnessed for brief seconds and that alone does not permit you or anyone else to "judge" others. Yes, ideally there''s a time and a place for everything but humans are highly emotionally and often times self-absorbed. Taking a huge leap of faith and this is a big IF, if the couple was truly engaged in a domestic squable is that any of your business? Again, no one knows what events and/or comments lead up to the heated argument. How do you know that the events or contents of their discussion was not about any number of deeply -private- matters such as: finances, marriage, infidelity, abortion, family, career, health, and/or death? We simply do NOT know and that IS the point. It does not matter who is potentially at fault, again, this is not your business. This is but another reason why people generally do not like to “air out” their problems in public, they do not want people hearing and becoming aware of their private affairs.
Sometimes the best intentions are best left unfollowed. Consider for a moment what realistically could occur if you intervened. The focus of the verbal assault is no longer the couple directing their venom at one another, rather it will be you. You will receive at least the full ire of at least one individual if not both. And, odds are if the person is already aggravated, your intervention will only escalate the matter possibly into a physical confrontation (assault). Again as crass as this sounds, your intervention will do no good, MYOB and walk away. Now consider for a moment, if the situation was reversed would you honestly like it if someone butted into your argument? It doesn''t even have to be w/your significant other, it could be with your parent(s), friend, coworker, relative, or ex. If you were on the receiving end of the verbal lashings, wouldn''t you feel a bit ackward if not possibly ashamed that you are getting yelled at so strongly in public? Maybe and maybe not. But another thing to consider is in many cultures, you do not make huge spectacles of yourself b/c you do not want to shame yourself and/or your family. As such, would you keep on going at it making a spectacle of the situation or would you try to end the situation as quickly as possible and not draw attention to yourself and try to take it someplace else like a car or inside away from prying eyes/strangers? Lastly, if the individuals are not threatening one another or others with physical violence, I say leave them be to their own private affairs. If you truly feel the need to intervene and offer help/your two cents, your best bet is to report the “disturbance” to the police since they have the authority to deal with domestic squabbles, even if it turns for the worse. As civilians none of us are not equipped nor authorized to take the law into our own hands. |
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